I’ve written before that I have a greater, deeper and richer emotional palette in Europe than I do in Asia. I felt contentment for the first time in my life when I first lived in Ubud. Previously I’d been swayed by the extremes of great melancholia and then remarkable elations, passions and excitements. Whether due to astrological influences or my history, who knows.

Yet now I find myself in Europe feeling surprisingly calm. I have changed, released and healed very much during the last 3 years. The summer of 2020 saw me losing/removing 300+ Facebook friends when I thought that my angry activism, post-George Floyd’s murder might actually save lives, change minds and make the world a better place.

In one of the Theta Healing seminars, we are asked if we’re prepared to lay down our sword and shield. I was not. I was following the American election and felt very invested in the outcome. I had identified with the fight against injustice for my whole life, and I couldn’t see another way to live. I had judgments about ‘spiritual bypassers’, especially in the sometimes narcissistic non-local community in Ubud.

Slowly with time, this has changed for me. I’m no longer living with constant anger (which I had normalised) and I typically know a greater state of trust.

So now, not for the first time, I’m asking myself, how do we take action, and care about the world’s injustices and other people, without over-stimulating our adrenaline and cortisol — substances which pull me away from love and trust, and throw me deep into fear, drama and disconnection? My work as a healer IS affected when my biology changes and I am contracted.

There is no one simple answer for everyone, other than paying attention, ongoing observation and radical responsibility for your states of mind, heart and soul. I’d love to hear how you find the balance.